Soooo lots of shit going down. Senior thesis, not fucking up bio class, drama, the works. Enough to fray your nerves.

BUT. I've been taking comfort in obsessively building my empire (AKA Join Avenue) in Pokemon White 2 I have dubbed Kabuki-cho. If you understand the joke, congratulations; you're probably a Japan scholar like me.

I have plenty to say on White 2. I'll just bulletpoint this shit.
( Overused rival names are go!Collapse )

FOR BEST READING EXPERIENCE, READ THIS IN MY JOURNAL THEME. THANK YOU!

FINALLY. I FIXED THE FUCKING CODING. TAKE THAT LJ HTML. YOU WERE NO MATCH FOR MY GEOCITIES LEVEL OF HTML KNOWLEDGE.


( Cutting this fic down to size!Collapse )

Well guys. We’re at the end. The curtain call. And what have we learned? Oh no no no, we’ll get to that at the end. If you have yet to be acquainted with the awful that is So Tender, The Healer’s Heart, go back to Part 1 and Part 2 and suffer through the whole thing. No cheating!

( If only we could falcon punch fanfics.Collapse )

Welcome back to the what-the-fuckery of So Tender, The Healer’s Heart, a Golden Sun: Dark Dawn yuri fic written by a teenage boy who doesn’t know how healthy relationships or good parents work.
 
Where we last left off, Mia, Karis’s mother (don’t ask) tells Chalis that they conveniently only have one bed per bedroom and they don’t have a guest room. Well I’m sure the villain that tried to kill her daughter will be fine with a sleepover, right?

( What don't you have a seat over there. Feel free to have some sweet tea and brownies.Collapse )

Rage Matthew icon is appropriate.
 
I was itching to spork a fic that isn’t bad on purpose (i.e. Kawaii Tragic Whatever The Fuck.) So I asked a buddy to rec me a piece of shit. They reminded me of a fic in a fandom we share (Golden Sun) called “So Tender, the Healer’s Heart.”
 
Now what makes this fic remarkable is that it’s the origin of the incredibly baffling Tendershipping (guess who coined that phrase?) The author is legitimately proud of coining a ship between a teenage girl and a personality-less villain. Well… it’s not “curing cancer” levels of fame claiming, but coining a ship is a big fandom deal, right? … right?
 
There’s no amusing typos to lighten the mood. There’s no bad sex (okay, maybe bad foreplay,) to post to weepingcock, this is just straight up OOC “the fuck are you thinking” bad.
 
Or maybe I’m just trying to hype this. Some of the fic is cut since it’s irrelevant or just stupid bullshit I don’t want to deal with.

( No lesbian action yet. Sorry guys.Collapse )
 
This fic is seven pages long unedited on Microsoft Word, so I’m gonna break it up into two parts. Here’s part 1, part 2 is coming at a later date.
 
It doesn’t get much better, by the way. But that should be pretty apparent by now.

I decided to just cram together chapters since they’re thankfully short. So from now on I’ll be taking on two chapters at once per post.

Where we last left off, ninja thong. That’s all you need to know. And I resolve to NOT call the author a weeaboo in this chapter. I’m gonna do it guys, watch me!

I'm slowly getting an idea of how to format my sporks. For maximum kawaii, the fic is in pink. Note that I barely qualify as a writer. I typo like it's my second job and I couldn't identify a passive voice sentence even if I was held at gunpoint. I make snarky comments. That's what I do. If you like sporks by a writer who knows what the hell they're doing and has a stomach made of iron, check out szaleniec1000.


( Prepare yourself for a mindblowly hot sex scene. I would put some inane trigger warning, but you would have to TRY to be triggered by this fic.Collapse )

I uploaded a stamp proclaiming my love of badfic on DA. And the suggestions came rolling in. Holy shit I love you guys.
 
One fic in particular caught my eye; a Naruto fic. Now, I haven't been in the Naruto fandom since I was like 16 and creating furry Mary Sues for everything. And while it's abundantly clear this is a trollfic (thank Christ) I want to take a crack at it regardless and pretend it’s the real deal. Welcome to the wild world of Kawaii Tragic Forbidden Passion Rosebud.
 
( Stay classy, Naruto fandom.Collapse )

I'm taking on the most monumental badfic in the history of badfic; Hogwarts Exposed.

I'm only a fourth of a way through szaleniec1000's brilliant spork of Hogwarts Exposed, and I already know this is gonna hurt. For those not familiar with Hogwarts Exposed, allow me to sum up what it's about.

A handful of Sues arrive at Hogwarts where the adult versions of the main HP cast are now teaching and through fuckery and stupid and Sue powers, somehow turn the school into a nudist colony.

Also, this fic is long enough to fill four fucking novels.

I've led multiple group badfic readings of My Immortal, I think I have 4 under my belt so far and that's not counting completing the fic on my own many many times. I've stomached Twila in its entirety multiple times. I've sat through The Pokemon Story and barely made it out alive. I read Cupcakes without batting an eye. I have read some of that wierd-ass Zelda story where the writer insists an autobiography of her life on the astral plane with Link.

I don't know if I can make it though this one in its entirety. This is like... climbing Mt. Everest except it's made out of pain and suck and capped with brain bleach snow.

What I know about Harry Potter is minimal but even I know a nudist cruise has no place in Hogwarts. Seriously.